I should never have left you
by WaterlooRoadSianandMadi
Summary: Shabnam has just lost her baby and it made her realise how selfish she has been to leave her other baby. Will Shabnam seek comfort from Jade through this difficult time? Will Jade accept Shabnam as her mum or is she just as stubborn as her mother
1. Chapter 1

She sat in the silence of her own dark bedroom, sitting with her legs crossed. She had lost her baby. Her baby, it all seemed so real now. Having to give birth to it was the worst. The labour was painful, her screams where still clear in her head. The baby slipped out and she hoped the doctors had been wrong. Maybe her baby was fine. The little bundle just looked like it was sleeping. The baby was placed on her chest. She didn't want to look, it was like a horror film.

"Look at our baby" He said. She slowly lowered her head. It just made it so real, the baby looked asleep, motionless but just asleep. She took a deep breath and a funny feeling washed over her. It was the like the feeling she felt when she looked at Kush, expect this was even stronger. She knew now that this was love.

She mind was simply on the baby, the whole time from delivery to the baby being taken to mortuary. She thought about nothing else. She cried as she held the baby. She cried as she washed the baby. She cried as they took the baby's hand and feet prints. She stayed with the baby for 3 hours and 53 minutes before the baby was taken from her. She cried even more then, it was so really. She had to stay in overnight for observation. This hurt the most, seeing people with their babies and she couldn't get hers.

The next day, she was allowed home to where she was now. Sitting alone, in her room in the dark thinking about the baby. Now back home, that baby wasn't her only thoughts. She was now thinking about her other baby. Her 7 year old daughter that was sick. For the first time ever, she thought about the girl in a different way. She didn't think about Dean, she thought about a scared little girl who wanted her mummy.

The young girl sat in her bed in the dark in the exact same position as her mom across town. She wished she had a parent that loved her. She stared with her foster parents, Jonathan and Annette. They were okay but they weren't her parents. They didn't hug her or hold her tight. They feed her, gave her a place to live and give her meds.

Jade sat playing with her duvet. She wanted a hug, to feel safe. Tears slipped down her face, she wasn't a girl to cry but everything had gotten too much for her lately. She thought she had found her dad, well she had but he didn't want her. Their visit hadn't gone as planned. Maybe she was just unlovable. It hurt her to think that but it was try. She hated having this illness. For the moment, it wasn't too bad. She seemed like a normal girl though she did have to go into hospital every 3 months for 2 weeks but other than that she was normal. She had a stomach tube but it wasn't noticeable. She also sometimes had to use her neb but that was only if her breathing was being funny.

Shabnam pulled out her phone. She was about to type in a number when she remembered that she didn't know the number to call. She would have to see her dad. She stood up and walked slowly down the stairs to the living room where her father sat.

"I need a number" Shabnam said.

"What for?" Masood asked.

"The social worker" Shabnam said. Both Masood and Kush looked at her.

"What for?" Kush asked.

"I need to get my little girl back" Shabnam said. Masood looked between the two of them before leaving the room to find the number.

"You don't mind, do you?" Shabnam asked.

"Of course not, I promise to support you in whatever you choose" Kush said.

"I really want to work and get her back" Shabnam said and Kush nodded her head.

"We will then" Kush said. Masood walked back in with the number and handed it to Shabnam.

Shabnam nodded before walking to her room taking Kush with her. They headed up the stairs and sat on the bed. Shabnam put the phone on speaker.

"Hello, my name's Shabnam Masood and I am the biological mother of Jade Green" She said nervously.

"Oh hello, I heard a couple of months ago that you might be interested in meeting Jade but I haven't heard much since" The social worker explained.

"I know, I apologise for that. We have had a lot going on and after having a long think about it, we know feel we are in the position to get to know Jade and hopefully bring her back home" Shabnam said.

"Okay, well we will start with a couple of visits to see what is going on. Are you aware that Jade has an severe illness that is life shortening" The social worker asked.

"I am, I don't know a lot about it but I am willing to learn. I will do anything for her" Shabnam explained.

"Okay, well I will have a little chat with Jade and see if she is happy to meet you then I will get back to you" The social worker explained and Shabnam nodded.

"Of course, if you just call me back on this number" Shabnam said before they said their goodbyes.

20 minutes later and Jade was sat in her room still on her bed. The tears were still in her eyes, she wasn't sure why she was thinking about her mum so much but she was. She really needed her mum now. With everything that had gone on with her dad, it was making her think more about her mum. Why didn't her mum want her? It must be the CF, who would want a child that's lungs didn't work properly. Her lungs were meant to keep her alive but they were killing her.

She jumped hearing a knock at the door. She wiped her eyes but it was still obvious she had been crying.

"Jade, Susan is here" Jonathan said. Jade sighed, she didn't like Susan very much.

"Hello Jade" Susan said walking into the room.

"Can I sit down?" Susan asked and Jade nodded.

"So I have something to tell you that I think you will like" Susan said and Jade nodded.

"Well, I have just had your mum on the phone" Susan said "And she wants to meet you"

Jade nodded trying not to show how happy she was. She was scared that if she acted happy then something would happen and she wouldn't get to meet her.

"If you want, we are going to arrange a meeting. I will be there at first as it will be supervised and we will go from there. If it is a success, in the future once everything is sorted you might be able to go and life with her" Susan explained and the smile escaped from her mouth.

"I really want to meet her" Jade said. "As soon as possible, please"

Susan smiled, she hadn't seem this little girl smile like that in a long time.

"Of course, I'll call her as soon as I get to the office" Susan explained and Jade nodded.

They spoke for a bit longer before Susan left.

She arrived home and instantly called Shabnam.

Shabnam jumped as she phone rang. She answered it quickly. She listened to Susan as she spoke.

"So she wants to meet me?" Shabnam asked

"Yes, she is very excited about it" Susan explained and Shabnam was so relieved.

"Is she okay, is she happy?" Shabnam asked.

"She is as good as she can be. She can't wait to see her mum, it's just what she needs" Susan said.

"She likes to hide her emotions from people but we are hoping you will be able to get through to her" Susan explained and Shabnam nodded.

They spoke for a bit longer and arranged for Shabnam to meet up with Jade on Monday, it was currently Wednesday and Shabnam knew it was going to be a long 5 days but it would be worth it.

 **Hope this okay, it's just an idea that I came up with. Please review and tell me what you think about it.**

 **All the CF information is knowledge that I know as my best friend through primary has CF so I know quite a bit about it.**


	2. Chapter 2

Monday morning eventually came. Jade was so excited about meeting Shabnam but as the day arrived she became more and more nervous about it. She was scared that her mum wasn't going to love her and that the same thing would happen as what happened with Dean. It really worried her. It wasn't her fault she was ill.

Jade got changed into jeans and a t-shirt. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess. She tried to brush it herself but she couldn't reach it properly. Jade sighed, her mum would never want her now.

Meanwhile Shabnam was feeling even more nervous. She didn't want to disappoint Jade. She was scared as to how the girl would react. Shabnam had meet the girl before and didn't even announce that she was her mum.

Once she was ready, she left and walked to the community centre where Jade and her social worker Susan were going to meet them. Susan was going to be staying with them as it was a supervised visit until her and Shabnam spoke in more detail.

Shabnam arrived and signed in. She was taken to a room where she sat and waited.

Jade got out of Susan's car. She was very nervous now and Susan could tell.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Susan asked and Jade nodded.

"Okay, good girl" Susan said as she took the girl's hand and walked her into the building.

"Oh it looks like your mum is already here" Susan said and Jade nodded before taking a deep breath. They walked to the room and Susan opened the door.

"Are you ready" Susan asked and Jade nodded. Susan walked in first and then Jade behind her.

Shabnam looked at the shy girl walk into the room. She was holding onto her social workers leg.

"Hello Jade" Shabnam said and Jade smiled shyly. Shabnam had a different feeling this time when she saw the girl. It was love, she wanted to protect the girl however she could.

"Jade has brought Kerplunk" Susan said "It's her favourite game"

"Shall we play it now" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. She sat down on the ground and Shabnam sat down next to her on her knees. They started playing the game and spoke only about the game.

"Are you okay now?" Jade asked. "You looked nearly dead the last time I saw you"

"I'm okay now, I'm sorry if it frightened you" Shabnam said.

"What happened?" Jade asked.

"I was attacked" Shabnam explained.

"Why?" Jade asked.

"Em, I think it was because of who I was and how I acted around them when I went into the community centre" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

After 20 minutes, Jade started to get bored.

"I'm bored" Jade complained.

"What do you want to do instead?" Shabnam asked.

"Can you read me a book?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Shall we sit on the sofa?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. Shabnam sat up first and then Jade sat next to her but not to close. Shabnam opened the book and started to read.

As the story went on Jade moved towards Shabnam and put her head on her shoulder.

Shabnam smiled and put her arm softly around the girl. Jade smiled and listened to Shabnam.

At the end of the story, Jade turned gently towards her mum and put her head into her mum's side.

"Hey" Shabnam said as she picked the girl up softly and did what felt right by pulling the girl into her arms. As Shabnam picked her up Jade curled into a ball.

Shabnam looked at Susan and Susan just nodded encouragingly.

"Hey, what's wrong" Shabnam asked as Jade clung onto her mum. Jade didn't speak so Shabnam just rubbed her back and tried to calm the girl down.

"Good girl, can you talk now?" Shabnam asked.

"I just wanted to be held" Jade whispered only loud enough for Shabnam to hear.

"Whenever I see you if you want to be held, I will hold you" Shabnam said and Jade nodded before turning to curl against her mum's chest.

Shabnam just stroked the girl's back and up to her hair.

"I'm sorry, it's okay if you don't want me" Jade said embarrassed.

"Hey, it's fine. I do want you. I want you more than anything. I will do everything I can to get you home with me" Shabnam said and Jade nodded before snuggling back in to her mum.

"My hair is a mess, I can't brush it properly" Jade mumbled after a couple of minutes.

"Do you want me to brush it" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. Shabnam went into her bag and pulled out a hair brush.

She moved Jade to sit up on her knees. Shabnam brushed the girl's hair and it made it look silky.

"Good girl" Shabnam said as she stopped. Jade nodded and leant back to her mum.

"Jade, we are going to have to leave now. I think you should say bye to your mum" Susan said softly.

"No, I don't want to leave. I want to go with her" Jade said.

"I'm sorry, but you have to go back home. We will schedule another meeting with your mum" Susan said but Jade shook her head.

"How about we organise it now? Will that make you feel any better" Susan asked and Jade shrugged her shoulder.

"Okay, so how about at the end of the week?" Susan asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Why don't we make meetings a Monday and a Friday just now?" Susan asked. "At least until you go back to school?"

Shabnam nodded.

"See that's not long is it" Shabnam said.

"But I want to see you every day" Jade cried.

"Oh baby, I want that too but we have to do this properly" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Let's head out to the car" Susan said and Shabnam nodded. She stood Jade up and they walked to the car.

"Please" Jade begged.

"Come on, in the car" Shabnam said as she helped the girl in. Jade nodded and did as her mum asked.

"Good girl, I love you" Shabnam said pulling the girl into her arms. Jade nodded and put her head on her mum's shoulder.

Shabnam stepped away and smiled. She closed the door.

"You did very well with her today. Due to past experiences, I think its best that we meet twice a week to show Jade that you aren't leaving. Would you be able to come to my office tomorrow?" Susan asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Of course, what time?" Shabnam asked.

"Em, how about 2" Susan asked going through her schedule in her head.

"That's fine" Shabnam said.

They said their goodbyes and Shabnam headed home.

Jade sat nervously in the car as Susan drove her home. She had gone all quiet again.

"Are you okay?" Susan asked and Jade nodded.

"When you were speaking to my mum at the end, was it because she doesn't want me?" Jade asked.

"What? Of course not. It was more the opposite, she is looking forward to seeing you on Friday" Susan said and Jade nodded.

Jade looked out of the window. She was so embarrassed now. She couldn't believe that she had made a full out of herself in front of her mum. She bet her mum didn't want her now. She needed to not be such a baby at the next meeting so decided.

Shabnam was so happy when she got home. She arrived home and found Kush. She told him everything. All about the way the girl reacted to her and how she held her and brushed her hair. She knew she was definitely doing the right thing now.

 **Hope this is okay :) please review and tell me what you think :) can't wait to hear your reviews. Really need some more reviews before I update again :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Shabnam headed to Susan's office the next morning. After yesterday she knew that she was willing to do whatever she could to get the girl to live with her. She had dragged Kush with her as she wanted to give Susan a good impression.

They soon arrived and walked into the building. They signed in and Susan met them.

"Come through to my office" Susan said and Shabnam and Kush followed behind.

"So the first meeting with Jade went very well" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"I didn't think she would be so open" Shabnam said and Susan nodded.

"I didn't think she would either" Susan said as she sat down.

"Jade is quite a private girl. She doesn't like to let people know how she feels" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"What should I do to help her open up?" Shabnam asked.

"Just do exactly what you are doing" Susan said "I think she might be a bit more reserved on Friday. She was slightly embarrassed after the visit"

"Why was she embarrassed?" Shabnam asked confused.

"She was embarrassed that she broke in front of you. Jade doesn't break in front of anyone" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"Now about Friday, I have just realised that Jade has a hospital appointment and she will be in hospital for 2 weeks while she gets her IV" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"However, I think it would be good if you could come to the appointment with us just so that we can start explaining things to you" Susan said.

"Of course, I'll be there" Shabnam said. "What time?"

"It's at 2 o'clock" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

They spoke for a bit longer before heading home.

Jade was sat in her bedroom. She was thinking about Shabnam and Susan wondering what they would be speaking about. She was really upset to find out that she couldn't meet up with her mum on Friday. That was why she was in her room because she had gotten very angry and stormed up to her room. No one followed her, she hadn't expected them too.

She didn't like to cry in front of anyone but recently with everything that was going on, she just couldn't stop herself. She hated being this weak but she just felt different with Shabnam. She felt loved and she hated being away from her. She was terrified that if she was away from her mum, then she would leave.

-It was finally Friday and Shabnam couldn't wait to see Jade again. She was soon up and dressed. She then left for the hospital. She had been told where to go so headed to that ward.

Jade had just arrived, she had her small suitcase with all her belongings in it. She didn't really like being in the hospital. It got very lonely especially at night. Every other child had someone staying with them during the night but Jade didn't. She never did.

Jade sat nervously on the bed when she heard a knock at the door. Jade turned her head and smiled when she saw who walked in the door.

"Hey" Shabnam said and Jade smiled. She got down from the bed and ran into her mum's arms.

"Now this is the type of welcome I like" Shabnam said. She picked the girl up softly and walked her over to the bed. She placed the girl down on the bed and instantly it looked like a wall formed in front of the girl's eyes.

"Jade, get changed into this gown" Susan said handing over the gown "The doctor will be here soon"

Jade picked it up.

"I'm not getting changed with you both in here" Jade said and Susan sighed.

"Jade, you are 7" Susan said.

"I don't want either of you here while I get changed" Jade said and Susan sighed but nodded.

She stood up and Shabnam followed behind.

"It'll like she has built up a wall" Shabnam said and Susan nodded.

"She does that. She was so excited to see you. Deep down, she wants to be happy around you and let you in but the second she realises what she is doing she closes up" Susan explained and Shabnam nodded.

"Will she be okay with me being in with her when the doctor is in?" Shabnam asked.

"I doubt it will even cross her mind. She is just being awkward just now. Oh by the way, this is only her second time getting her IV through her port and last time was dramatic to say the least. For a girl that is in hospital quite a lot, it still hasn't gotten her over her fear of needles" Susan explained.

Shabnam nodded though slightly confused. She had no idea what a port or an IV was. They spoke for a bit longer before the door open and Jade appeared.

"You can come in now" Jade said and Susan and Shabnam nodded. They walked in and Shabnam noticed Jade's clothes on the floor. She instantly picked them up and folded them.

Shabnam then sat down on the chair as Jade sat on the bed with her knee's crossed.

There was a knock at the door and all three of them jumped. The doctor walked in with one of the nurses.

"Hello Jade, it's good to see you again" Doctor Johnston said and Jade nodded. She always felt nervous around her doctor. He scared her a bit.

"So first things first, we have another child with CF in again during this visit so I have brought some games for you but you can't go to the play room" He said and Jade sulked.

"That's not fair" Jade complained. "Do I get the playground outside though?"

The doctor nodded.

"You do, but you must have an adult or nurse out with you" He confirmed and Jade nodded.

"We are going to run through some tests just like we always do" he said and Jade nodded. Shabnam leant forwards slightly to listen to the doctor.

They did some breathing exercises first and then checked her weight and height. They then all sat down.

"So, first of all your weight. Your weight hasn't changed. Remember what I said last time, you need to get your weight up or we will need to get you on a feeding tube" The doctor explained and Jade made a face.

"I know you don't want it, but you need to put weight on. Your weight hasn't changed so you don't need it just now but I want you to put some weight the next time you are in hospital" He said and Jade nodded.

"Your lung function is actually 5% higher than it was last time which is a lot better. We didn't have such a good time last time did we" The doctor said. Jade nodded. The last hospital visit hadn't been very good and Jade was nervous about this time.

Shabnam was completely confused but didn't say anything.

"How many poos have you had today?" He asked and Jade went bright red.

"I don't remember" She said blushing.

"Okay, but I do ask you every day so I want you to remember" The doctor said.

"How about we do what we did last time" The nurse asked. "When Jade marked it on the board behind the door and we checked it every night before lights out"

The doctor nodded. This little girl was very private and they worked out last time that this was when she was most likely to tell the truth.

"Now, it's time to put your IV in" The doctor said and Jade made another face.

"No mucking about like last time. You need to take your gown off and lie on the bed" He said sternly.

"I don't like it" Jade complained.

"I'm sorry Jade, it's not about what you want or not, it's about what is best for your health" Doctor Johnston explained to the girl. Jade just looked at the bedding before raising her eyes to meet her mom's glace. Shabnam just saw fear in the girl's eyes.

"Hey, sweetie it's okay" Shabnam said holding the girl's hand.

"You need to do what the doctor says. I will be here the whole time. Let's get your gown off" Shabnam said pulling the girl up slightly so that she could untie the gown.

Jade allowed her mum to do this and the gown slipped off. Jade was left in only her pants. She instantly felt self-conscious.

"Good girl, lie down" Shabnam said as she gently pushed the girl back. Jade let her mum guide her back. Shabnam ignored the girl's hand over her chest. She hoped if she didn't say anything about it, her daughter would relax and forget.

"I don't like my port anymore" Jade cried. She had a port placed under her armpit because she was getting medication regularly.

"It's for the best" The doctor said.

Jade looked at her mum as the doctor lifted her left arm up to above her head.

"I'm just putting some cream on first" The doctor explained and Jade nodded. She tried to stop the tears threatening to slip down her face.

"Good girl" Shabnam said as she wiped the tears from the girl's face.

"We can show you her port and IV after. This is only her second time with the port so it will be at least 6 months before she can get her IV without needing to be in hospital. We'll explain it all to you" Susan explained and Shabnam nodded still holding the girl's hand.

"Now it's time for the needle" He said and Jade started to squirm.

"Hey, you are okay" Shabnam said trying to calm the girl down.

"Could Shabnam maybe lie with her?" Susan asked and the doctor nodded.

Shabnam was slightly unsure how to do this.

"Can she sit on your lap?" The doctor said and Shabnam nodded. She sat down and pulled the girl onto her lap. Jade instantly put her head on her mum's shoulder.

"Perfect" The doctor said as he left the girl's left arm. He placed the needle in.

"There we go" The doctor said as he dressed it.

"So remember, you can't get this wet. You'll need to wash around it. The nurses will help you" He said and Jade nodded.

"No, taking a bath or anything without a nurse to help you" The doctor reminded her. Jade nodded before snuggling into Shabnam. They had previously had problems with the girl trying to do things by herself.

Shabnam grabbed the gown and put the gown onto the girl.

"You will be having your medication and physio everyday while you are here" The doctor said and Jade nodded.

"I will be in to see you every day as well" He said and Jade nodded.

The doctor then said his goodbyes before leaving with the nurse. Jade was still resting on her mum. She had relaxed a bit now and moved away from Shabnam. Shabnam noticed this and let the girl get off of her. She then sat down on the chair.

"You were very brave Jade" Susan said and Jade just shrugged.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before the door opened.

"You forgot your duvet, Jade you made such a big deal about it last time so I brought it to you" Jonathan said.

"Thank you" Jade said taking the duvet and placing it on the bed.

"So we are off now, we'll pick you up in 14 days, if anything changes make sure you let us know" Jonathan said looking at Susan at the end. Susan nodded.

Shabnam was slightly surprised. There was no hug, no nothing as he left.

"Do they not visit her when she is in here?" Shabnam asked.

"Not normally, they are heading off on holiday for 10 days with the other girl they have now adopted" Susan said and Shabnam nodded. She hated the fact that Jade didn't get to go.

"They always go on holiday in the summer when I'm in hospital" Jade said. "I've never been on holiday"

"So what do you do when you are here?" Shabnam asked.

"Nothing, if it's during school then I have a tutor. It's annoying because another person with CF is here just now so I don't get to go to the play room. It's really boring in this room" Jade complained.

"Shall we play a game just now?" Shabnam asked and Jade smiled.

"It's so much better when I have company" Jade said as she sat down on the floor. Shabnam joined her.

They played for a while before dinner arrived.

"I don't want to eat it" Jade complained.

"Jade, you picked it earlier" Susan explained.

"I don't want it now" Jade said.

"Jade, take your tablets and then eat it all. They give you that amount for a reason" Susan said.

"I can't" Jade said pulling her knees up to her chest.

"You need to eat it sweetie" Shabnam said placing a hand on her daughter's knee. Jade shook her head and tears slipped down her face.

"Come on, what's wrong?" Shabnam asked.

"It will take me ages to eat it and then you will have to go" Jade said letting the tears all free.

"Hey, I will be here for as long as you need" Shabnam said wiping away the tears. Jade nodded and wiped the tears. She took her tablets.

"If she ever eats something when she is with you, she must have these tablets first. She will know how many to take but we will work on teaching you" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

They spoke and Jade ate her dinner. It did take her a while but they sat patiently and spoke to her.

"Well done for eating it all" Shabnam said and Jade smiled.

"I'm just going to the toilet" She said.

"Will you manage?" Susan asked and Jade nodded.

"I'm not two years old" Jade said and Susan laughed but nodded. As Jade jumped down off the bed and went out of the room.

"What happened the last time she was in?" Shabnam asked.

"Ah well, Jade got her port about 6 months ago now but they had to wait 3 months before giving her the IV through it. She freaked out. Jade has never been good with needles, but she doesn't like to tell people she is scared so she just squirms and tries to avoid it. Once the IV was in, she pulled it out which made it very painful for her" Susan explained.

Shabnam nodded.

"She seemed a lot calmer today" Shabnam said and Susan nodded.

"It's because you are here and she feels safe" Susan said "She is a very fragile girl, she just doesn't show it"

Jade opened the door and walked in.

"What are you talking about" Jade asked jumping up onto the bed.

"Just some adult things" Susan said. "I think you should get changed into your pyjamas"

Jade nodded.

"I don't want you here" She said looking at Susan.

"Okay" Susan said and she headed out the door. Shabnam followed behind. Jade watched, she didn't want Shabnam to go but she didn't know how to call for her.

She ran over to Shabnam and grabbed her arm.

"You can stay" She said. "Will you help me?"

Shabnam smiled and nodded. She walked over to the wardrobe and got the pyjamas for the girl.

"Thank you" Jade said. Shabnam untied the girl's gown and slipped her pyjamas on.

"Thank you" Jade said. She liked being looked after. She wasn't sure what came over to her but she wanted a cuddle. Jade turned to face her mum and hugged her. Shabnam smiled and picked the girl up. In her pyjamas, the girl wrapped her legs around Shabnam's waist.

"Hey, what's this for?" Shabnam asked as she rocked the girl.

"I just want a cuddle" Jade mumbled.

"That's okay, I'm going to let Susan in and then we can watch a film before you need to go to bed" Shabnam suggested.

"I don't want you to leave" Jade mumbled.

"I know sweetie but I have to" Shabnam explained. Shabnam opened the door and let Susan in.

"Thank you" She said.

"What do you want to watch?" Shabnam asked.

"Frozen" Jade said as she put her head on Shabnam's shoulder. Shabnam nodded and got the film. She placed it on the DVD in the player before placing Jade on the bed. Jade lifted up her duvet and bit her lip.

Shabnam smiled and climbed in with the petite girl. Susan smiled, as she watched them bond. She knew they were getting more comfortable around each other and Jade was starting to act like a younger child, this was to make up for the affection that she was hidden from when she was younger but loathed to have.

By the end of the film, Jade's eyes were drifting shut. The nurse walked in to announce it was lights out.

"I best get off now" Shabnam said and Jade nodded but looked down. She didn't want Shabnam to go.

"I love you and I'll see you on Monday" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"I love you too" She mumbled into Shabnam's chest.

"Good girl" Shabnam said kissing the girl on the head.

Jade clung onto Shabnam.

"Go to sleep" Shabnam said softly lying the girl down. Jade nodded and Shabnam stayed with her until she was asleep.

Shabnam and Susan left.

"You were so good with her today" Susan said and Shabnam smiled.

"Thank you" Shabnam said. "So what happens this weekend?"

"She stays in hospital. I usually try to visit her but I'm away this weekend. The nurses keep her company" Susan explains and Shabnam nodded.

"What time will I come on Monday?" Shabnam asked.

"Em, it's up to you. I'm quite happy for you to be there while I'm not. I won't be there until about 4 o'clock and I'll stay until 7:30 which is lights off" Susan explained and Shabnam nodded.

"If you're up for it you can spend the whole day with her. Maybe take her to the hospital canteen. She loves it there" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"I'll take her there" Shabnam said. "What time does she get up?"

"Well, she gets up at 8 usually" Susan explained and Shabnam nodded.

"I'll be there for then" Shabnam said and Susan smiled.

 **Hope this is okay :) I'd really appreciate some reviews :) I'm hoping for 4 more reviews before I update again :)**


	4. Chapter 4

It was finally Monday morning. Shabnam was up earlier as she wanted to be there when her daughter woke up.

Shabnam arrived at the hospital and went to the children's ward. The nurses were running about mad trying to hand breakfasts out.

"Has my daughter been woken?" Shabnam asked "Jade Green?"

"Oh no, we have left her. She didn't have a great night last night" The nurse explained.

"What happened?" Shabnam asked.

"Well, she had nightmare. One of the night nurses stayed with her last night. I'll go and find her for you" The nurse said and Shabnam nodded.

She crossed her arm and waited patiently. She noticed the nurse walking over with another nurse.

"Are you Jade's mother?" The nurse asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Okay, is there a reason you didn't stay with her last night?" The nurse asked and the other nurse looked at her giving her a face.

"What?" The other nurse asked confused.

"I don't have custody of my daughter yet. I have just found her after I gave her away when she was born" Shabnam said. "I can't stay the night with her, if I could I would have"

"I'm sorry" The nurse said. "I have just moved to this ward. I didn't know"

"Anyway, Jade woke up last night at about 2 am. She was screaming and extremely sweaty. I sponge bathed her and changed her sheets as she had soaked through them and got her back to sleep. She didn't want me to leave. So she is very tired this morning so we have left her sleeping for a bit" The nurse said and Shabnam nodded.

"You can go in but just be quiet" The nurse said and Shabnam nodded. She walked into Jade's room and sat down on the chair. About 10 minutes later, Jade started to wake up.

"Hey sweetie" Shabnam said as Jade rubbed her eyes. The girl just stretched her arms out to her mum. She just wanted to be held.

"Okay then" Shabnam said lifting the girl carefully into her arms. Jade snuggled up with her mum and almost drifted back to sleep.

"I heard that you didn't have a great night last night" Shabnam asked. Jade shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shabnam asked.

"Not just now" Jade mumbled into Shabnam's chest. Her eyes were closed.

"Okay, just get a bit more sleep" Shabnam said as she softly rocked the girl. She was happy that the girl hadn't said a straight no. Shabnam hoped that meant she felt comfortable enough to speak to her.

"You be there when I wake up" Jade asked groggily. Shabnam smiled, she sounded so young.

"I will be right here baby girl. Do you want to go back to your bed?" Shabnam asked and Jade shook her head and grabbed her mum's top.

"Okay, then let me sit on the bed so it's more comfortable" Shabnam said. She lifted the girl up and sat down on the bed. She took off her head scarf.

Jade moved her hand up to her mum's hair and started twirling it. The girl knew that she wouldn't get back to sleep but she just liked being like this.

"Sleep baby girl" Shabnam said and Jade nodded moving her hand from her mum's hair. Jade was just drifting off to sleep when the door opened.

Shabnam put her fingers to her lip and the nurse nodded. She mouthed that she would be back and Shabnam nodded.

Shabnam sat with her daughter for almost an hour just looking at her, she looked just like her little boy. Jade had her ears too, just like her boy had. The tears appeared in her eyes and she wasn't sure what came over her but she couldn't stop the tears.

Jade's eyes jerked open. She got a fright at Shabnam crying and jumped up so that she was chest to chest with her mum. She throw her arms over her mum's shoulder.

"Don't cry please" Jade said.

"I'm sorry" Shabnam said.

"Why are you crying?" Jade asked.

"I just missed so much. I'm so sorry" Shabnam said.

"It's okay" Jade said. "I have you now"

Shabnam smiled.

"I don't deserve to be a mum. I couldn't be there for either of my babies" Shabnam said.

"You can be there for me now" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

"Who was your other baby?" Jade asked.

"Zaair" Shabnam said.

"Where is he now?" Jade asked.

"Up in heaven" Shabnam said and Jade let the tears fall.

"How?" Jade asked "Was it CF?"

Shabnam shook her head.

"No sweetie, it just happened" Shabnam said.

"That's not very fair on you" Jade said and Shabnam smiled.

"You don't have either of your babies but you will get me soon" Jade said and Shabnam smiled.

"I'm glad that I'll have you" Shabnam said.

"Was the baby still in you when it died?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"How did it get out" She asked and Shabnam sighed. She wasn't sure how to explain it to her 7 year old.

"Well, the baby comes out of your bum" Shabnam said and Jade made a face.

"That must hurt a lot" She said and Shabnam giggled before nodding.

"It did" She said.

"Did I come out that way?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"I still can't believe you are my mum. I lived in your tummy" Jade said and Shabnam smiled and nodded.

"Did you hold me when I was born?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"I did, I held you and a whispered to you" Shabnam said.

"What did you say?" Jade asked.

"La Ilaha Ill Allah Muhammadur Rasool Allah" Shabnam said as she whispered it again to her daughter. Raising Jade towards her.

"What does it mean?" Jade asked.

"It means there is only one true Allah and Mohammed is his messenger" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"What happened after that?" Jade asked.

"I was very silly and I left you on my aunt's doorstep" Shabnam said. "I knew that she would take good care of you. I thought you got adopted"

Jade shook her head.

"No one wants a sick girl" Jade said. "I just get moved about a bit. I don't know how long I will be at Jonathan and Annette. They say I am too much work"

"Oh sweetie, you are not too much work. I will try my hardest and give you everything I have got to get you back home with me" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

The door opened and both Shabnam and Jade jumped.

"Hi Jade, you need to eat your breakfast. Remember to take your tablets first" The nurse said and Jade nodded.

Shabnam moved to sit in the seat and Jade sat up. The nurse stayed until Jade had taken her tablets and then left.

Shabnam sat with Jade. Jade wasn't a great eater and tended to faff about after a while. Shabnam had left that if she spoke to the girl and joked about with her then the girl was more likely to continue to eat.

The door opened and a man walked in. Jade looked at the guy, she didn't know who he was.

"Shabs, you forgot your phone" Kush said walking over and handing it to her.

"Thanks" Shabnam said she kissed Kush.

"Arg, that's disgusting" Jade said and Shabnam giggled.

"Jade, this is my fiancée Kush" Shabnam said. "Kush, this is Jade"

"Hey, Jade I've heard a lot about you" Kush said and Jade nodded.

She smiled but didn't say anything.

"Well I better get off now" Kush said and Shabnam nodded.

"I'm here all day but I'll see you tonight" Shabnam said and Kush nodded.

"That's fine" Kush said.

By the time Kush had left, Jade had finished her breakfast.

"Do you want to get dressed now?" Shabnam asked.

"I usually just stay in my jammies all day" Jade said.

"Well, I thought we could go outside to the playground later" Shabnam said and Jade smiled.

"Really?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Okay, can you get my clothes?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded. She walked over to the wardrobe and got a pair of leggings out for the girl. She also grabbed a nice top.

"Do you like this?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

"Put it on then" Shabnam said as she got out pants and socks. Jade got changed and it didn't even cross her mind that Shabnam was seeing her naked.

"Can we go out now" Jade asked as soon as she was dressed.

"No, go and brush your teeth and then I'll do your hair" Shabnam said and Jade nodded. She grabbed her tooth brush and headed to the toilet. She returned and stood in front of her mum.

"Do you have a bauble?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. She handed one to Shabnam.

"How can you do my hair?" Jade asked. "You have short hair"

"I used to have very long hair when I had you" Shabnam said.

"Really" Jade said as Shabnam brushed her hair and put it into a ponytail.

"You're good at that" Jade said and Shabnam smiled.

"Go and play for a bit" Shabnam said and Jade nodded. She ran over to the games.

"I'm going to draw a picture" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

Shabnam sat watching her daughter. After 10 minutes, she looked over to see what Jade was drawing.

"What is it sweetie?" Shabnam asked.

"It's my family. It's me, and you and Kush and then Zaair is in the sky looking down on us" Jade said and Shabnam gave a watery smile. The death of her son was still fresh in her mind so that was slightly upsetting.

Shabnam didn't say anything. She needed to sort out everything that was going on in her head.

"Jade" Shabnam said from her seat and Jade looked at her.

"Come here a minute please" Shabnam said and Jade nodded walking over to her mum.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened last night?" Shabnam asked and Jade bit her lip.

"I had a nightmare" She said quietly.

"Why?" Shabnam asked.

"Because I was scared that you would leave me and I would die alone" Jade said tears in her eyes.

"Hey, why did you think that?" Shabnam asked pulling the girl into her arms.

"Because everyone leaves me" Jade said.

"Now listen to me baby, I will never leave you again, okay?" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Now, what is it with dying?" Shabnam said. "You are only 7 and I know that CF is serious but we are managing it well, you are stable"

"But, when I was at Dean's, him and Shirley were fighting and they shouted about his brother dying of CF, it scared me" Jade said.

"I know it's scary but things have changed a lot since then. I was looking things up the other night. The life expectancy has risen to about 50 years. The main thing is that you keep your weight up especially as you are going through adolescence"

"What does adolescence mean?" Jade asked.

"When you are a teenager" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Why is it important then" Jade asked.

"Because there is a lot of changes people go through then" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Okay, can we go outside now" Jade asked. Shabnam nodded.

"Come on then" Shabnam said as she stood up. Jade was excited and jumped about in front of Shabnam.

"Quick this way" Jade said.

"Let me tell the nurses first" Shabnam said and Jade sighed.

"Okay but be quick" Jade said.

Shabnam quickly found a nurse and explained where they were going.

They walked outside to the playground. Jade jumped onto the swing. It was a large swing that was for children in wheelchairs.

"Be careful" Shabnam said.

"Push me please" Jade said as she lay down on the swing.

"Okay" Shabnam said. She started pushing the girl gently.

Jade loved that. After that she went on the rest of the equipment.

"I'm hungry now" Jade complained.

"Okay, let's go to the canteen" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"I just need to get some capsules from the nurse" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

They walked passed the nurse's station and Shabnam explained what they were doing.

"Okay, Jade has a tub of tablets in her room I'll get them for you" The nurse said and Shabnam nodded. She was slightly nervous to be in charge of the girl's medicine.

They headed to canteen. They collect the food that she wanted. Jade got macaroni.

"Can I get a cake please?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Really" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

"Thank you so much" Jade said as she picked one.

They found a table and Shabnam did a quick calculation and decided to give the girl 4 tablets.

"Is that right?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. Shabnam smiled, she managed to give the girl the right dose of medication.

They sat and spoke for a while and then headed back to the ward.

"Thank you for today, I really enjoyed getting out of the ward" Jade said.

"It's okay" Shabnam said. They walked into the room and got seated.

They sat down and started playing snakes and ladders. The door opened and both of them jumped.

"Hello Jade, how are you feeling today?" Doctor Johnston asked.

"Fine" Jade said.

"That's good" He said as he walked over to the cupboard. He wrote down the stool counter and then walked back over to Jade.

"We'll do your physio first, shall we show your mum what to do?" The doctor asked and Jade nodded.

"PEP first" He said holding the device to the girl. Jade nodded and did her breathing exercises.

"Jade knows exactly how to do this one you just you have to watch her" The doctor explained and Shabnam nodded.

"Cough" the doctor said and Jade did as she was told. Shabnam hated hearing the girl cough so much and such deeply.

"Another good one, is to gently hit her back like this" The doctor said showing Shabnam. Shabnam nodded and did what she was shown. Again after the exercise, Jade was told to cough.

They did some more exercises and Shabnam was shown exactly what she was to do.

The doctor then did Jade's IV before asking some questions to the girl.

Just as the doctor walked out the room, Susan walked in.

"Hi, how are you both" Susan asked.

"I'm good" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

"Did you have a good morning with Shabnam?" Susan asked and Jade nodded

"It was so much fun, we went outside and then to the canteen" Jade explained and Susan nodded.

"I'm glad you liked it" Susan said and Jade nodded.

"It's been so boring this weekend" Jade said.

"Did you get out at all?" Susan asked and Jade shook her head.

"The nurses were all really busy" Jade said. Shabnam left really bad.

"Oh well, I'm back now. I'll take you out" Susan said and Jade nodded.

"I heard you had a difficult night last night" Susan said.

"It's fine, we spoke about it" Jade said and Susan nodded before looking at Shabnam and smiling at her.

"I'm just going to the toilet" Jade said as she jumped up and ran out of the room.

"How was today?" Susan said and Shabnam smiled.

"Really good" Shabnam said.

"What was the nightmare about?" Susan asked.

"She was scared that I was going to leave and she would die alone. When she was with Dean, she heard about his brother and it scared her" Shabnam explained and Susan nodded.

"That poor little girl, at least she felt she could speak to you" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

Jade then return, she nervously opened the door before running over to Shabnam and jumping into her arms.

"You're not leaving me are you? Is it because I had a nightmare?" Jade asked nervously.

"Hey, no sweetie. I'm not leaving you. Don't you ever think that I will again" Shabnam said. "And I don't care if you have a nightmare. I love you no matter what?"

Jade nodded.

"I want a cuddle" Jade whispered. Shabnam smiled and pulled the girl into her arms.

"Hair" Jade mumbled and Shabnam giggled before taking her head scarf off. Jade started twirling her mum's hair.

"I wasn't expecting you to have short hair" Susan said.

"Everyone gets a shock at first" Shabnam explained. Jade held onto her mum for a while before relaxing. She listened to Susan and Shabnam speaking.

"Dinner time" The nurse said as she walked into room. Jade jumped off of Shabnam's knee and sat down on the bed. She took her meds and started eating. She usually made a bit of a fuss so this was an improvement.

Jade finished her dinner and was starting to get tired.

"Shall we watch a film?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

"Annie" Jade said as she put it in the DVD player.

"Can you cuddle up with me please?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded. She lay down on the bed with her daughter. Jade curled into her mum and they watched the film. By the end of the film, Jade had fallen asleep.

Shabnam and Susan waited until Jade was definitely asleep before leaving.

"You did amazing with her today" Susan said and Shabnam smiled.

"She is great" Shabnam said.

"It's up to you but I think Jade would really appreciate it if you came on Wednesday to see her" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"I'll be there, I'm not working on Wednesday so it's fine" Shabnam said and Susan nodded.

"Just come whenever you want" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"I trust you a lot with her" Susan explained.

"Thank you" Shabnam said.

"Would you be able to come to my office on Friday so we can go through some more things? Hopefully get the ball rolling" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"I'll be there, what time?" Shabnam asked.

"Em 11 o'clock. Then we can go to the hospital" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"Shall we speak to the nurses about Jade getting out for a couple of hours on Wednesday?" Susan asked and Shabnam nodded.

"It would be good if you could take her to your house and let her meet your family" Susan said and Shabnam nodded.

"That's fine" Shabnam said. They spoke to the head nurse who said it shouldn't be a problem and that she would just speak to the doctor and tell them if it was a no.

 **Hope this is okay :) I'd really appreciate some more reviews. I don't seem to be getting many :( please review and let me know what you think :)**


	5. Chapter 5

It was finally Wednesday and Shabnam was so excited about taking Jade out. She was slightly nervous though as she had never had full responsibility of the girl. Shabnam arrived at the hospital and was just about to walk into Jade's room.

"Ah would you like to do the honours of waking Jade up? She might not hate us for the rest of the day, if you do it" The nurse said and Shabnam smiled. She walked in with the nurses and walked over to her daughter.

"Jade" Shabnam said. "It's time to get up"

Shabnam shook the girl softly and it didn't take long until the girl was awake.

"Good morning sweetie" Shabnam said and Jade smiled. Jade opened her arms out, she was still tired. Shabnam smiled and pulled the girl into her arms.

"I missed you" Jade said snuggling into her mum.

"I missed you too baby girl, but I need you to eat your breakfast now" Shabnam said and Jade nodded. She turned around and took her tablets still in her mum's knee.

"In the morning, I take 2 red tablets and a blue tablet. Then I take these ones" Jade said showing her mum. Shabnam nodded taking note of this.

Jade started eating her toast still on her mum's knee. The nurse watched for a couple of minutes before leaving.

"So, I have a surprise for you today" Shabnam said.

"What is it?" Jade asked.

"I'm not telling you" Shabnam said.

"That's not fair" Jade said. Shabnam laughed at the girl huffing.

"Just get dressed" Shabnam said and Jade nodded. She bit her lip and looked down.

"What's up?" Shabnam asked lifting the girl's head up.

"My hair is horrible" Jade said.

"No it's not" Shabnam said.

"It hasn't been washed in like 3 days" Jade said.

"Do you want me to ask if I can wash it?" Shabnam said. Jade nodded.

Shabnam stood up and walked out the room. She found a nurse and explained the situation. The nurse nodded.

"Come on then, let's get this done" Shabnam said. Jade nodded and stood up. She walked to the disabled toilet with her mum.

"Tilt your head forward." Shabnam said and Jade nodded. She did what her mum had told her. Shabnam quickly wetted the girl's hair before massaging the shampoo in.

Once they had finished, Shabnam wrapped the girl's hair in a towel and quickly started to tidy the bathroom up a little.

"I need a pee" Jade complained.

"Go now" Shabnam said.

"But you are here" Jade said.

"I'm not looking" Shabnam said and Jade sighed before nodding. She quickly went to the toilet before they walked back to the room.

Shabnam towel dried the girl's hair before getting a hair dryer.

"You are hurting me" Jade complained as she squirmed about under Shabnam's grip.

"Jade, it is on cool" Shabnam said.

"It hurts" Jade complained.

"If you stayed still it would be a lot better" Shabnam said and eventually Jade stopped moving and the rest of the hair drying experience went a lot smoother.

Shabnam then got down clothes for Jade. She handed them to the girl and helped her get ready.

"Can you tell me now?" Jade asked as Shabnam placed the t-shirt over Jade's head.

"No, you just have to wait and see" Shabnam said and Jade sighed again.

Once Jade was dressed the door knocked. The doctor walked in.

"I'm here early today, so you can spend the day with your mum" The doctor explained and Jade nodded.

They quickly got started. The doctor started with some questions before doing some physio with her.

"Good girl, now I'll just do your IV" He said and Jade nodded. He sorted everything out before getting ready to leave.

"Just keep an eye on her today, there are a lot of infections going about between children at the moment so it might be best to keep her away from outside the hospital playgrounds" The doctor said and Shabnam nodded.

"Come on" Shabnam said as the doctor left.

"Where are we going?" Jade asked and Shabnam patted her nose. They walked outside and got a taxi.

Jade was getting nervous now and held onto her mum's hand.

"Hey, it's okay" Shabnam said.

"Where are we going?" Jade asked, her voice full of fear.

"We are going to my house, so you can met my, I mean our family" Shabnam said. Jade nodded but instantly looked worried.

"Hey, there is nothing to worry about" Shabnam said but Jade just bit her lip. She thought for a second.

"What if they don't like me?" Jade asked quietly.

"Hey, sweetie they will love you I promise" Shabnam said just as they pulled up at the square.

"Come on" Shabnam said as she got out the taxi. She helped Jade climb out.

"I don't want to go in" Jade said.

"Come on sweetie, it's going to be okay" Shabnam said. Jade bit her lip again before putting her hands up.

"Just this once" Shabnam said picking the girl up carefully.

"I'm scared" She said leaning her head on Shabnam's shoulder.

"You don't need to be scared" Shabnam said as she walked to the front door struggling to carry her bag and Jade.

She opened the door and they went into the living room. Shabnam put Jade down but the girl instantly tried to cling on and tried to hide her face in her mother's shoulder. When she realised her mum wasn't going to pick her up again. She hid behind her.

"Jade, this is my dad" Shabnam said.

"Hello Jade, it's nice to meet you. You can call me whatever you want – Masood, Grandad, Papa whatever you wish" Masood explained and Jade nodded before looking at the other person in the room.

"You know Kush don't you?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. She was slightly confused as to why Kush and her mum kissed but he wasn't her dad. She decided to ask about that later.

"Hi Jade, it's nice to meet you again" Kush said and Jade just smiled. She hadn't let go of her mum's trouser leg the whole time since walking in.

"This is my brother Tamwar, you can call him Tam or Uncle Tam" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Hello" Tamwar said awkwardly.

"And this is Nancy. She is Tamwar's girlfriend" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Hi, I'm also your cousin but it's kind of complicated. Your dad is my uncle" Nancy explained and Jade nodded nervously. She didn't like thinking about Dean. He scared her.

Once all the introductions were over, they all got on with what they were doing. Kush disappeared to work, Tamwar and Nancy went up the stairs and Masood sat down to read his papers.

"Take your coat off" Shabnam said and Jade did as she was told. She was still very nervous.

"Come on let's go and sit down" Shabnam said as she guided Jade to the sofa. She sat down and the girl sat down next to her. She couldn't get any closer to her mum and Shabnam could feel her shaking.

"Hey, calm down" Shabnam said before placing the girl on her knee. Jade wasn't sure what came over her but she just threw herself at her mum and couldn't stop crying.

"Hey, it's okay" Shabnam said trying to calm the girl down. She rocked her gently. Masood looked up and noticed the girl.

Instantly he moved towards them, wondering how he could calm the girl down.

"Hey, am I really scary?" Masood asked. "I don't mean to be. I know you have been through a lot but we do love you. I only found out about you a couple of months ago and since then I have been so excited to meet you"

Jade sat up and looked at Masood. He didn't seem so scary now.

"Can I have a hug?" He asked and Jade nodded. She leant over to her grandfather and allowed him to hug her before hugging him back.

Shabnam smiled. She was glad Jade was starting to relax.

"How about we head to the minute mart and you can pick up a magazine and a sweet?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

They got their jackets back on and headed out. They went to the minute mart first and Shabnam was speaking to Denise.

"I want to go to the park" Jade said as Shabnam and Denise were speaking.

"Jade, I am speaking" Shabnam said and carried on speaking to Denise.

"I want to go now" Jade said.

"Jade, I am speaking. Now stop being rude" Shabnam scolded. Jade glared at her mum before running off. Shabnam sighed.

"I'm so sorry about this" Shabnam said before running after her daughter. She had no idea where her daughter would go so headed home first to check if she had gone there.

Jade ran to the park, it was one of the few places in the square that she knew. She was nearly at the community centre when she heard someone shouting her name.

"Jade" Shirley shouted. Jade looked about. She wanted her mum more than anything just now. Dean was behind Shirley.

"Jade what are you doing here?" He asked. Jade was starting to worry now. She looked around for her mum.

Meanwhile, Shabnam had just been home and realised that Jade wasn't there. She was trying to think of another place she could have gone. Then she remembered.

Jade looked about, Shirley and Dean were getting closer to her now.

"No" She said stepping back. While looking around, she noticed her mum in the distance running towards her.

"Mum" Jade shouted and she jumped into her mum's arm as soon as she was in sight. Shabnam pulled the girl into her arms. Her heart bleed, the girl had just called her mum.

"Jade, it's me. It's Shirley" Shirley said but Jade just snuggled closer into Shabnam.

"We need to go, you are scaring her" Shabnam said as she walked away with the girl.

"Stop, she is my daughter too" Dean shouted.

"Dean, she is scared of you" Shabnam said.

"No, she isn't. Come on Jade, it's me. We had her first and then you just come in and waltz in and take her away" Dean said.

"Dean, you weren't even interested in her at the start. I didn't realise how selfish I was being until everything with Zaair" Shabnam said.

"Mummy, I want to go home" Jade cried into her mum's shoulder.

"We are going home" Shabnam said trying to calm the girl down. She walked passed Dean and Shirley and gave them a look.

"Come on Shabs, she is my daughter too. I didn't force you to have sex with me, let me see her" Dean shouted. Shabnam blushed at the announcement of sex. She hoped that Jade hadn't picked up on it or ask her about it.

They arrived home and Shabnam knew that she needed to get both herself and Jade away from everyone else. She walked up the stairs to her room, starting to struggle to carry the girl at the same time but she managed. Shabnam put Jade on the bed. The girl didn't want her mum to held go of her.

"It's okay" Shabnam said as she lay down next to the girl. Jade instantly curled into her mum and just continued to cry. Everything was just getting too much for her. This was the second breakdown she had had today. Her first one being with Masood and know just now.

"Mummy's got you" Shabnam said. She wasn't sure what came over her but it just seemed like the right thing to say. She rocked the girl in her arms and just let her cry. After about 15 minutes of solid crying, the girl started to calm down but her breathing was bad.

"Take a couple of puffs" Shabnam said handing the inhaler to the girl. Jade nodded and did what she was told.

"Is everything just getting too much for you?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

"I understand that it is hard but we will get through this together okay?" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"I like it when you are cuddly like this" Shabnam said and Jade smiled.

"I don't get to be cuddly like this a lot because I have no one to cuddle to" Jade said.

"Well that is going to change, I promise" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Can I call you" Jade said before biting her lip. Shabnam looked at her daughter.

"Can I call you Mum?" Jade asked and Shabnam smiled.

"Of course you can, you can call me whatever you feel comfortable calling me. I don't mind if you call me Mum sometimes and other times Shabnam just whatever you wish" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"It felt right calling you mum earlier" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

"Then you can call me Mum" Shabnam said. Jade smiled.

"Do you want to talk about anything that happened out there?" Shabnam asked.

"I don't want you worry about things" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"I can't think of anything" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

"Okay, if you ever do then just write it down and then ask me next time you see me" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Shall we go down the stairs" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

"Mum, why isn't Kush my dad if you kiss him?" Jade asked.

"Em, well I only met Kush this year" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"I like him, I wish he was my dad" Jade said. "If he was my dad, I might not have been ill. Would you have kept me if Kush was my dad?"

"Oh baby, listen when I had you I was very young. In my religion it's not right if you have a baby before you are married" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"But you had two babies without being married" Jade asked confused and Shabnam nodded.

"I wasn't meant to and some people got annoyed with me" Shabnam explained in the best way she could.

"Well I'm not annoyed at you" Jade said and Shabnam smiled.

"I'm glad" She said.

"Shall we go and get something to eat?" Shabnam asked as she noticed it was after 3 o'clock. Jade nodded.

"I'm starving" She complained and Shabnam smiled.

They went into the kitchen and Masood was making curry.

"I have curry" Masood said and Shabnam smiled.

"It's mild, do you think you'll like it Jade?" Masood asked and Jade nodded.

"I love curries, I like spicy things too" Jade said.

"She is certainly your daughter Shabs" Masood said and Shabnam smiled. They dished up a plate and Jade took her tablets before they started eating.

Jade spoke happily with Masood and Shabnam until they were finished.

"I think we should head back now" Shabnam said and Jade huffed.

"But mum" Jade complained.

"Come on" Shabnam said holding the girl's hand.

They got everything together and headed back to the hospital.

"I had a really good day" Jade said and Shabnam smiled.

"I did too. I think you should get changed into your pyjamas and then we can watch a film before I have to go" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

Jade quickly got changed into her pyjamas before climbing into bed. They snuggled down and watched a film and by the end of the film the girl was sound asleep.

"See you on Friday" Shabnam said kissing the girl on the head before leaving.

 **Hope this is okay :) please review and tell me what you think. I would really like some more reviews before I update again**


	6. Chapter 6

It was Friday and Shabnam headed to Susan's office. She arrived and was slightly early so sat down. Her appointment was in 10 minutes so she just sat on her phone. She waited for nearly 20 minutes but still Susan hadn't come out. She got up and headed to reception to see what the holdup was.

"Hello, I am here for a meeting with Susan Thomson. It was meant to be 10 minutes ago but she hasn't come out" Shabnam explained and the receptionists looked at each other.

"Did you not get a phone call? Susan was in an accident last night on her way home from work. We have had to get emergency cover in for her" The receptionist explained.

"Oh god, is she okay?" Shabnam asked.

"She is stable" The receptionist explained.

"So can I have a meeting with the cover social worker? It's about my daughter" Shabnam said and the receptionist nodded.

She came out behind the desk and walked to Susan's room. She knocked on the door and walked in. An older man was sitting at the desk.

"How can I help you?" He asked.

"I was supposed to have a meeting with Susan?" Shabnam said. "It's about arranging more visits with my daughter"

"Who is your daughter?" He asked.

"Jade Green" Shabnam replied and he nodded.

"Okay, I'll be in touch with you sometime next week. I just need to get things sorted first" He said.

"So I can't see her until then" She asked.

"You'll have to wait until I can find time" He said.

"But she is expecting me to come today. She will get upset" Shabnam said getting worried.

"We will deal with it" He said.

"I don't want her thinking I have left her" Shabnam said.

"She won't" He said.

"Will you be visiting her today?" Shabnam asked.

"Probably not, I don't have time. I'll visit her on Monday" He said.

"But that means she won't have anyone seeing her till then. She is alone in hospital" Shabnam explained.

"She'll be fine, she has been in hospital many times before." He said not understanding what the fuss is about.

"But she is expecting me today, I have to prove to her that I am not leaving her" Shabnam said.

"Well, I don't have time for that today. I need to read all of Susan's cases and get an understanding of what is going on" He said and Shabnam rolled her eyes.

"If my daughter becomes sick now, I hold you accountable. You don't know what she is like" Shabnam said before storming out the room.

She was so angry.

Meanwhile, at the hospital Jade was sat waiting for Shabnam. The door opened and she turned around.

"Jade" The nurse said sitting down next to the girl. She put the breakfast on the table. Jade looked at the nurse.

"Now, Susan has been in an accident and she is in hospital" The nurse explained.

"Is she okay?" Jade asked.

"She is stable, but still very poorer" The nurse explained and Jade nodded.

"So you are going to get a new social worker for just now. His name is Derek. He is going to try and see you on Monday" The nurse explained and Jade nodded.

"Will my mum still be coming today?" Jade asked.

"I'm not very sure, I think so though" The nurse said and Jade nodded. That made things a bit better. She was really upset about what has happened with Susan but she didn't want to tell the nurses. She didn't like anyone seeing her upset.

Jade ate her breakfast before getting changed, she wanted to be ready for her mum. She sat looking outside her window which looked over the car park.

By lunchtime, she knew Shabnam wasn't coming.

"Jade eat your lunch" The nurse said and Jade shook her head. She got into the bed and looked at the duvet.

"I don't want it" Jade said.

"Jade you need to eat" The nurse said and Jade shook her head.

"I'm not hungry, I feel sick" She said and the nurse sighed and left. Jade knew that if she pulled the sick stomach issue then they would leave her alone.

Jade smiled as the nurse left and curled up into a ball. She felt that everyone she trusted has left her. She has never felt so alone. Even when she left alone before she met her mum, it wasn't this bad as Susan was there. Jade curled into a ball.

She didn't hear the door open.

"Is your stomach that bad?" The doctor asked as he saw the girl curled into a ball. Jade shook her head.

"Okay then don't curl up because it will make your stomach worse" he said and Jade sighed before sitting up. Her hair was in all directions and she looked upset.

"I think you should try to eat something" The doctor said and Jade shook her head.

"Okay but you need to eat your dinner or I'll have to put you on a feed" The doctor said and Jade nodded. She didn't plan on eating dinner or getting a feed but the doctor didn't have to know that.

The doctor did some exercises with Jade before getting her IV sorted for her. Once he left Jade lay down on her bed. She was bored, she had nothing to do so decided to put on a film. She watched Annie again. It was her favourite. It had barely started and she was crying. Everything had just gotten too much for her.

She didn't hear the door open. A nurse walked in. She was quite new and really nice. One of the few nurses Jade liked.

"Hello Jade that is me started my nightshift. Dinner will just be a minute" She said. It was only then that the nurse noticed she was crying.

"Oh sweetie" The nurse said going over to the girl.

"What's wrong?" She asked. Jade didn't say anything but cry loader.

"Hey, it's okay" The nurse said as she sat softly on the bed and held the girl in her arms.

"What's wrong?" The nurse asked.

"I want my mum" Jade cried.

"Has your mum not been today?" The nurse asked and Jade shook her head.

"And Susan is in hospital and I want my mummy. I'm scared" She cried.

"oh sweetie, I'll try and find out what is going on okay?" The nurse explained and Jade nodded. She started to calm down and ended up drifting to sleep.

"Good girl" The nurse said as she placed Jade onto the bed. Just then the dinner arrived.

"She is a little upset" The nurse explained and the other nurse nodded.

"I'll keep it for later" She said.

The nurse that Jade liked was called Nadia. Nadia decided to try and work out what was going on with Shabnam. She called the social worker. By the time she had spoken to him and hung up, she was interrupted by a scream.

"Mummy" Jade screamed. Nadia opened the door and instantly tried to calm the girl down.

"I want my mummy" Jade shouted as Nadia tried to walk her up.

"Calm down sweetie" Nadia said. She jumped slightly as she noticed the sheets going wet.

"I'm sorry" Jade cried.

"it's okay, let's get you sorted" Nadia said as she carried the girl to the bathroom. She quickly wiped her down and got the girl into new jammies.

"I want my mum" Jade said and Nadia nodded.

"I know you do, I spoke to the new social worker and he told your mum she couldn't come today. He is meeting up with her next week though" Nadia explained.

"I want her now" Jade cried.

"I know you do sweetie" Nadia said taking the girl back to her room.

Jade got into her bed.

"Do you want your dinner?" Nadia asked and Jade shook her head and curled up.

Nadia walked out the room and told the head nurse that Jade won't eat.

"We need to give her a feed as she hasn't eaten since breakfast" The head nurse said.

"I'll put one in" Nadia said as she got together everything. Jade was going to be given the feed through a IV in her hand as her port had another IV in it.

Nadia walked into the room and the girl was sleeping. She quickly put the needle in and got the feed started.

She then turned off the light and left the girl sleeping.

 **Hope this is okay :) Please review as I got no reviews last chapter :(**


	7. Chapter 7

It was a Sunday night, Jade had been a nightmare all weekend. She refused to eat anything and had barely gotten any sleep, she just kept having nightmares. Nadia had been off this weekend and it made Jade worse as no one spent any time with her. She had pulled her feed out 3 times and was now on nightly feeds to keep her weight up.

Jade had eventually gotten to sleep at nearly 10 o'clock. She knew that Nadia started at 10 and hoped the nurse would come and see her. Her peaceful sleep didn't last very long.

She couldn't wake up. She was in a dark room, her mum was outside the room. She couldn't get her. She was running away from her.

"No" Jade screamed as she tried to reach her mum. Nadia ran into the room. It had been a rather peaceful night.

"Hey, sweetie wake up" Nadia said shaking the girl.

"Mum" Jade screamed out.

"It's Nadia sweetie" Nadia said as she managed to wake the girl up. Nadia saw fear in the girl's face and then she started kicking off.

"No" Jade screamed before pulling the IV out of her arm. She screamed again as the blood squirted out of her arm. Nadia pushed the panic alarm.

"Jade, it's okay. Let me stop the bleeding" Nadia said calming and Jade shook her head.

"I want my mum" Jade cried.

"I know you do but let me fix this" Nadia said as she gently sat the girl into her lap.

"Good girl, will you let Hannah put this back in?" Nadia asked as another two nurses entered the room. Jade nodded. She was shattered, she didn't mean to have these outbursts or nightmares.

Hannah sorted out the girl's IV and Nadia stroked the girl's hair. Once Jade was more relaxed, Nadia went to place her down.

"No don't leave me" Jade said with worry in her voice.

"I have to go back to work, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep though" Nadia said and Jade nodded. She sat watching the woman before drifting off to sleep.

"You are really good with her" Hannah said to Nadia.

"She has been a nightmare all weekend and no one has been able to handle her. We have just kind of being leaving her to it" Hannah said.

"You see that's the problem. She is having nightmares about being alone, and then we are leaving her alone so she will just have more nightmares. All she wants is to be loved. She loves it when people spend time with her. Remember she has no one. Not one single person has been in to see her since Thursday" Nadia said and Hannah nodded.

"I didn't think of it like that" Hannah said.

"No one does" Nadia said. "I'm going to phone the social worker in the morning and work out what is going on. It's not fair to leave her like this. She needs her mum"

Hannah nodded. They got back to work but about 3 hours later, they were interrupted by Jade's screaming again.

"Oh sweetie" Nadia said as she tried to calm the girl down. She managed to pull the girl into her arms but felt her scrubs going wet.

"Let's get you cleaned up" Nadia said as she carried the girl to the bathroom. She sponge washed the girl before putting new pyjamas on her.

"Let's get you back to bed" Nadia said.

"I'm too hot" Jade moaned. Nadia put her hand on the girl's forehead. She was heating up.

"Let me get the doctor" Nadia said as she placed the girl back on the bed. She managed to find the on call doctor who checked Jade out. He said she had just been hyped up and give her some medicine to get her to sleep.

It didn't take long for the girl to drift off to sleep and that was her until the morning.

As soon as it was 9 o'clock, Nadia called Derek, the social worker.

"Hello" He said.

"Hello, I'm a nurse from Walford General, the Children's ward" Nadia said.

"How may I help you?" He asked.

"Well, I believe you are now Jade Green's social worker?" She said and he nodded.

"I am" He said.

"Well, we have been having real problems with her this weekend. She isn't eating, isn't sleeping properly and just isn't herself. It is a major concern of mine, and I feel that it is due to her mother not visiting like normal" Nadia explained.

"Well, I'm sorry I have been busy" He said.

"This 7 year old little girl has just spent the last 3 days completely by herself because no one visits her in hospital. She is bored out of her mind and all she wants is her mum" Nadia said and Derek sighed.

"Fine then, I'll call Shabnam and see if she can visit Jade with myself today" He said.

"Thank you" Nadia said before hanging up the phone.

She left Jade sleeping and the girl slept until about 10 o'clock which is what she really needed. Nadia walked in with food. She hoped the girl would eat but Jade just looked at the food and turned around.

"You need to eat sweetie" Nadia said.

"I don't feel well" Jade said and Nadia sighed before walking out the room leaving the food for the girl.

Jade lay still. She was really hungry but she didn't want to admit defeat. She was so stubborn.

Shabnam was sitting in her house when her phone rang. She picked it up as she saw it was Derek. She was so relieved when he told her she could see Jade today but she was really worried about how the girl would react.

She quickly got ready before heading to the hospital. Shabnam arrived and met Derek at the reception. Nadia then met them as well.

"So we have been having a lot of trouble with Jade since Friday. She isn't eating so has a feed in her arm. She also has been having nightmares which has let to bedwetting which is completely unusual for the girl. She also isn't sleeping much" Nadia explained and Shabnam nodded.

"Did you tell her that I wasn't allowed to see her?" Shabnam asked and Nadia nodded.

"I did but I'm not sure how much of it she understood" Nadia explained and Shabnam nodded.

They walked into Jade's room and the girl was facing away from them.

"Jade, you have some visitors" Nadia said.

"No" Jade said hiding under the duvet.

"I think you will really like to see who it is" Nadia said but Jade didn't say anything. Nadia looked at Shabnam.

"Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry I couldn't come on Friday. But I have met Derek now so hopefully I can see you more" Shabnam said but Jade didn't move.

"Hello Jade, my name is Derek and I'm your new social worker" Derek said.

"Come on baby, aren't you going to come out?" Shabnam asked. Jade shook her head under the covers.

"Okay, we'll just sit and wait until you are ready" Derek said. They sat back both of them on their phones. Jade was starting to get warm under the duvet.

"Why didn't you come?" She asked and Shabnam looked up from her phone.

"It wasn't my choice sweetie" Shabnam said.

"I'm sorry Jade but I made the decision, there was just too much going on" Derek said.

"Well, it wasn't very nice of you" Jade said and Derek nodded.

"I know and I'm sorry, it won't happen again" Derek said. "Now we have sorted that out will you eat something?"

Jade shook her head.

"You need to eat something" Derek said and Jade's temper rose. She was ready to have a breakdown.

"No" She screamed. She continued to scream and kick her legs and the duvet that was around her. Both Derek and Shabnam jumped up.

"Hey, calm down" Shabnam said as she held her daughter down. She quickly managed to get the girl in her arms. The nurses heard the screaming and had gone in.

"Come on, that's a good girl" Shabnam said as she held her daughter in her arms on the bed. She rocked the sobbing girl until her sobs had reduced to hiccups.

Jade clung onto her mum's top.

"That's it, are you okay now?" Shabnam asked and the girl nodded.

"Do you want a drink?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. Shabnam picked up the water bottle and held it to the girl's mouth. Jade took two large gulps of the drink before turning back towards her mum.

"Do you think you can have some toast?" Shabnam asked holding the half slice of bread. Jade nodded and took a bite.

"Good girl" Jade said.

"You aren't going to leave me again, are you?" Jade asked and Shabnam looked at Derek.

"No, Jade I'm very sorry for the delay but your mum can go back to seeing you 3 times a week" Derek said. He felt bad for leaving the pair apart for so long.

They spoke for a while before Jade drifted off to sleep.

"Derek, do you think it would be possible for Shabnam to stay the night, if she agrees?" The nurse asked and Derek was slightly unsure.

"Jade could really do with a good night sleep" Nadia explained and Derek nodded.

"If you'd would?" He said looking at Shabnam who nodded.

"I would" She said. They spoke for a bit longer and Shabnam was getting stiff. The girl wouldn't let go of Shabnam. Shabnam shifted to get the girl off her slightly and Jade woke up.

"Mum, don't go" Jade said.

"I'm not going anywhere, you are just getting a little heavy" Shabnam said.

"Sorry" The girl said moving.

"Are you going to have some lunch?" The nurse asked as she entered the room. Jade nodded her head.

"Good girl" Shabnam said kissing her on the head. Jade sat up and starting eating.

They spoke for a while before playing some games. By the time they had finished it was nearly 6 o'clock.

"I'm going to head off now Jade, but I will see you tomorrow" Derek said and Jade nodded. He wasn't so bad now.

"I'm going to nip home to get some pyjamas and clothes for tomorrow" Shabnam said

"Why do you need your pyjamas?" Jade asked. She had been asleep when they had decided that Shabnam could stay the night.

"Why do you think?" Shabnam asked.

"You are going to stay the night?" Jade asked astonished and Shabnam nodded. Jade was so excited, she started jumping up and down.

"I'm be gone an hours top" Shabnam said as she kissed the girl on the head before leaving.

Jade nodded. She waited on her mum to return. She ate her tea in silence and smiled when she saw her mum come back.

"See I told you I wouldn't be long" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Can I have a cuddle now?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Of course" She said pulling the girl into her arms.

"Now, I heard you haven't been getting any sleep and have been a bit scared, do you want to talk about it?" Shabnam asked and Jade shook her head.

"Are you sure? So we won't be having any accidents tonight?" Shabnam asked and Jade blushed but shook her head.

"Nope, I was just scared that you had left me" Jade admitted.

"Oh baby, I promise I will not leave you" Shabnam said. Jade nodded.

"I know that now. Can we not speak about what happened though because it is really embarrassing" Jade said and Shabnam nodded.

"Of course, let's just forget about it" Shabnam said and Jade smiled. She snuggled up with her mum and it didn't take her long to drift off to sleep. Once Jade was asleep, Shabnam went to the bed that the nurses had made up for her. She sat on her phone for a while before drifting off to sleep.

 **Hope this is okay :) please review and tell me what you think. I really need some more reviews :)**


	8. Chapter 8

It was Friday and Jade was getting to go home. Shabnam had promised that she would be there when the IV was getting taken out and then she was allowed to take Jade to her house until 6 o'clock when her foster parents would return and pick her up.

Jade woke up and ate her breakfast. She knew that she needed to do exactly what the nurses and doctors told her or she won't get to go home.

Just as Jade was finishing her breakfast, the door opened and Shabnam walked in.

"Mum" Jade said smiling. She lifted her arms up and wrapped them around Shabnam when she was close enough.

"Hello sweetie, are you excited to be getting home?" Shabnam asked. Jade nodded.

"Do you want to start getting ready?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

"Mum" Jade said and Shabnam looked at her.

"Once we go back to your house, can I please have a bath?" Jade asked shyly. Shabnam nodded.

"Of course you can, sweetie" Shabnam said moving a strand of Jade's hair out the way.

"I'm getting my IV out today so that means I can have a proper wash" Jade explained and Shabnam nodded.

"That will be good" She said and Jade nodded.

"Would it be easier to just put your gown on?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded.

"I don't like it though, it's very thin. I feel like everyone can see me naked" Jade said and Shabnam laughed slightly.

"It's only me though" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"I know but it's when the doctor comes and Derek will be there this time" Jade said.

"Jade, you are 7 years old, you have nothing to hide" Shabnam said.

"I still don't like it. You wouldn't get changed in front of a doctor or Derek so why do I have to?" Jade asked.

"When I had Zaair, I was sitting on the bed with my legs up with no pants on" Shabnam said and Jade made a face.

"Exactly, you just have to put up with it. I didn't particularly want people looking at my bum, did I?" Shabnam asked and Jade giggled before shaking her head.

"What about when you had me?" Jade asked.

"I was alone" Shabnam said.

"Was it scary?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"It was very scary, I didn't know what to do but I couldn't stop it" Shabnam explained. Jade bit her lip and looked down.

"Come on sweetie, into the gown" Shabnam said breaking the silence.

Jade nodded and did what she was told. Once she had the gown on, she got comfortable on her mum's knee.

The doctor came in and Derek was close behind.

"So I just have to do some tests and take your IV out" The doctor said and Jade nodded.

She did her physio and then they took some blood. Jade didn't like this bit but at least she had her mum to hide her face into.

Then it was time to remove the dreaded IV.

"Can you take your gown off" The doctor asked. Jade looked at her mum who smiled encouragingly. Jade did as she was told.

"Can I lie on my mum again?" Jade asked and the doctor nodded. Jade lay down on her mum and the doctor quickly removed the IV. Jade had tears running down her face and buried her head into her mum the second it was away. Shabnam wrapped the gown around the girl's shoulders and rocked her.

"So, I will just go and sort out the discharge forms. Derek if you could come with me? And then you are free to go" The doctor said and Jade smiled.

As soon as the doctor left, she started packing.

"Someone's eager" Shabnam said.

"I want to go now" Jade said as she threw everything into the suitcase. Shabnam smiled at the girl. It pained her to see the little girl with so little belongings. She didn't have anything that was special, that was only hers. Shabnam wanted to change that.

Shabnam helped the girl pack everything and carried the duvet for her. They opened the door and were met by the doctor.

"All sorted" He said and Jade smiled.

"Come on then, Mum" Jade complained as she felt that Shabnam was walking too slowly.

"Okay" Shabnam said "I best get going, someone isn't wanting to wait" Shabnam said smiling. The doctor and Derek nodded before Shabnam ran off.

Kush picked them up. Shabnam made sure that Jade was buckled up before sorting herself out.

They arrived at Shabnam and Kush's.

"Where are we?" Jade asked.

"This is my home" Shabnam said.

"But it's not the house we were in last time" Jade asked confused.

"I know, that is my dad's house while this is me and Kush's" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Okay" She said before following behind her mum.

"We have a surprise for you" Shabnam said and Jade looked at her unsure.

"What is it?" Jade asked and Shabnam smiled.

"Close your eyes" Shabnam said. Jade did as she was told. Shabnam placed one hand on her daughter's back and then the other holding her hand and guided her to the room.

"Open your eyes" Shabnam said. Jade opened her eyes. She burst into tears.

"Oh sweetie" Shabnam said feeling bad.

"Thank you so much" Jade said putting her arms around her mum.

"It's okay, baby" Shabnam said.

"I also thought you might like this" Shabnam said handing over a blanket that was on the bed. Jade smiled and took it from her mum's hands. She lifted it up to her nose.

"It smells like you" Jade said and Shabnam smiled.

"I have been sleeping with it for the last few nights" Shabnam said. "Anytime you are upset or scared, I want you to cuddle up with it and then you know I will always be with you"

Jade nodded.

"I don't want to leave you, can I just stay here? I have a bed now" Jade said.

"Oh baby, I know it's hard. Hopefully you can come soon though" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Every time I'm not with you, I'm scared" Jade said and Shabnam's heart broke.

"Oh my baby girl" Shabnam said before rocking the girl. She had tears streaming down her face.

"Let's give you a bath, eh?" Shabnam asked wanting to calm the girl down. Jade nodded and allowed her mum to carry her to the bathroom. Shabnam turned on the water before she started taking the girl's clothes off.

"I don't want you to leave me" Jade said.

"I'm right here baby" Shabnam said. Once the bath was run, Shabnam helped Jade to climb into it.

"This is so nice" Jade said as she started to relax. Shabnam smiled and watched the girl carefully. She then got some kids shampoo that she had bought in case Jade ever stayed over. She started washing the girl's hair.

Once her hair was washed, Shabnam started washing her body.

"Are you okay with me doing this?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. She liked it. She liked being babied.

Once she was completely washed, they sat for about 10 minutes or so. They just spoke, Jade smiled as she listened to her mother speak.

"Come on you, the water is starting to get cold" Shabnam said and Jade sighed. She stood up and Shabnam wrapped her up in a towel and lifted her out the bath.

"Shall we go through to my room, it's warmer?" Shabnam asked and Jade nodded. She allowed her mum to carry her through.

Jade got dried and changed back into her clothes.

"What do you want to do?" Shabnam asked and Jade shrugged.

"Can we go to the park?" Jade asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Sure, but you have to do as I say?" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Good girl" Shabnam said as they got their jackets on. They headed to the park, of course Shirley and Dean just had to be leaving.

"Jade" Shirley called. Jade looked at her mum and held onto her hand tightly.

"It's okay" Shabnam said rubbing her thumb on the girl's hand.

"Shabnam, you can't hide her from us. She is our family too" Shirley shouted.

"Shabnam, let us see her" Dean shouted. She could tell he was going after her. Dean grabbed Shabnam's arm, not hard but firmly. Shabnam shrugged it off.

"Mum" Jade begged. Shabnam looked at the girl and in one shift movement, the girl was on her hip.

"You are scaring my daughter" Shabnam said as she tried to walk away.

"Come on Jade, it's me" Dean said as he put his arm on the girl's arms.

"No" She cried.

"Dean, please" Shabnam said trying to get passed. Dean sighed and moved away.

"Let's go to the park now" Shabnam said putting the girl down. Jade nodded and held onto her mum's hand.

They played at the park for a while before heading back home. Shabnam could tell that Jade wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" Shabnam asked.

"Well, you know how Dean is my dad" She asked and Shabnam nodded.

"Did you love him?" Jade asked and Shabnam shook her head.

"I was silly" Shabnam said.

"How can you have me then?" Jade asked and Shabnam looked like a deer caught in the headlights. How was she meant to answer this?

"Em" Shabnam said.

"How could you have a special kiss with him to make a baby if you didn't love him" Jade asked.

"Well, sometimes you can pretend he is someone else and then you can have a special kiss" Shabnam tried to explain and Jade nodded.

"How was it bad that you had a special kiss before you were married?" Jade asked.

"It's hard for you to understand just now and it will make more sense when you are older, but in my religion you aren't to have a special kiss before you are married. It shows that you love that person and that you saved yourself for him" Shabnam explained and Jade nodded.

"Okay, do I have to wait until I'm married to have a special kiss?" Jade asked.

"It's up to you, when you are a lot older I will speak to you more about it" Shabnam said.

"Why not now? How old will I be?" Jade asked.

"Because you are a little too young to understand. And it depends, we will have quite a lot of grown up talks as you get older" Shabnam said and Jade nodded.

"Will I get to have them with you?" Jade asked leaning against her mum and Shabnam nodded.

"I hope so baby" Shabnam said.

"I want to play with your hair" Jade whispered and Shabnam smiled. She took off her head scarf. Jade leant against Shabnam and played with her hair.

"That's dinner, girls" Masood said and Shabnam nodded.

"Let's eat sweetie" Shabnam said Jade nodded. After they had eaten, Jonathan came to pick Jade up.

She was a bit emotional about saying goodbye to her mum but knew Shabnam would pick her up from school on Monday.

 **Hope this is okay :) please please please review!**


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